I signed up for a challenge. A week ago. And I am already a week behind. Oops.
The challenge is to blog every day, if possible, but more importantly the idea is to be more consistent with posts and set some attainable goals. I honestly have no idea what those goals should be. I know that I have a lot of ideas lately and I need a creative escape, but as to what that means in terms of goals? Good question.
As the squirrel in my head is jumping trees and tossing nuts, I just jumped to my email and found this:
"As you continue to orchestrate your life story, read on below for the most important thing you can learn from one of the greatest storytellers of all time!
"How Shakespeare Wrote The Greatest Stories? Negative Capability"Encyclopaedia Britannica defines negative capability as:
"... a writer’s ability, “which Shakespeare possessed so enormously,” to accept uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason."
This phrase was first used by John Keats in a letter to his brothers in 1817.
Negative capability is the capacity to embrace mystery. To be still and observe or reflect before we rush into fixing situations that we barely understand with our previously accumulated knowledge, which might be inadequate given the circumstances.
In essence, it is the courage to admit that we do not always know how things will pan out; and the self discipline to let new possibilities unfold without meddling. This is the force that drives creativity and discovery, for one can not advance their knowledge by always falling back on predetermined conclusions."
There is more in the email, but you get the picture. And for me, it really fits. I think this might give some insight as to why I don't trust the process and write more or even start more things...I am uncertain of the outcome. While I don't mind making mistakes along the way, if I can't assume that there will be at least some element of success, I shut down. That's it. I won't deal with it, I won't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist.
So maybe my challenge/goal this year will be to just write. To take more chances when it comes to goals and challenges. While accept failure, I need to accept the process of getting there. I realize that I am standing in the way of my own success. No blame to pass around there. But I need to understand why I am so afraid to succeed.
This is a ramble. But this stream of consciousness is what is currently hopping through my head.
A little about me
I blog for fun, to get my thoughts in order. I am a mom to two frustrating and wonderful kids and one diva dog. My full-time gig is teacher and I do some side hustle with a few DS businesses. I love working with people...but I also value my alone time since in reality I'm a huge introvert.